The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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