I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
