We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
