hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
