well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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