The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i permit you to call me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
