Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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