i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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