Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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