Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
