Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
