Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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