I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
