i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
