You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
