I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
