Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
