are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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