Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
No subtext here. People are naked.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
