grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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