Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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