a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
