My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
