Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
