We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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