It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
