Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
