There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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