two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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