I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
