Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Randomize
