I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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