Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
