I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
