im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
so much tequila, so little girl.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
