My hand turned me down
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
