Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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