I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
