Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
