So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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