I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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