I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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