hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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