Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just gift wrapped bread.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
