i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
