all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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