Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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