I have demons in me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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