Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
