Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
