Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.

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(407): View more from Florida

I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.

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(713): View more from Texas

I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.

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